Pilgrimage to India

 https://medium.com/@koshymathews/a-christi

I’m excited about leading a group of friends from the United States to India on a pilgrimage this fall, tracing the footsteps of Saint Thomas, the apostle. The group mainly consists of lay folks from churches where I had previously served as a priest. For me, this visit to India, particularly Kerala, is a show and tell of the place I was raised in as a Christian and formed by the cultural ethos of a tradition that dates back to the early days of the Acts of the Apostles. It is an eighteen-day-long tour covering certain popular tourist attractions in Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur, known as the Golden Triangle in the north, and some of the areas in the southern states of Kerala and Chennai, where Apostle Thomas is said to have preached the gospel, founded Christian communities, and martyred in the first century.

I intentionally referred to this journey as a pilgrimage, even though it has elements of a tour, a fact-finding mission, or a vacation. Generally, when people from North American churches make trips to a previously colonized country, it is a mission trip. In contrast, if it is to a Western or Middle Eastern country, it is a pilgrimage. Vestiges of the bygone colonialist attitude are still prevalent in some of our churches. Still, how could I elevate this journey as a pilgrimage, given our belief that Saint Thomas came to the Malabar Coast of India and preached, which is based on certain legends? Here, I use the word pilgrimage in the same sense as some of the most familiar ones, such as the pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela, Spain, which is built on the belief that Saint James had been there and was buried at the site. What makes a pilgrimage a pilgrimage is not the historical accuracy of the claims made about a particular place. Pilgrims visit these places not to verify the evidence by placing their fingers on the wounds or by touching the side of Jesus, as Thomas demanded. People go on pilgrimages to be surprised by the Divine. I don’t rule out God doing a new thing in our midst or offering a serendipitous moment to those of us who are on this pilgrimage.

While one can experience a pilgrimage and divine surprise right where one is, without ever putting one foot in front of the other, the Indian pilgrimage takes us through a land that gave birth to Hinduism and Buddhism, spawned the growth of so many religious sects, and allowed followers of Abrahamic religions to thrive and flourish. Theologian Richard Niebuhr says, “Pilgrims are persons in motion, passing through territories not their own, seeking completion or clarity; a goal to which only the spirit’s compass points the way.” Those of us who are on this pilgrimage may differ in our intentions or agenda. However, by placing ourselves on the road that has been trodden over millennia, and where countless have been enlightened or touched by the divine, we, too, I hope, may see ourselves in the line of fire for an encounter or surprise with the divine.an-pilgrimage-to-india-855b3add4e68

Which Christianity will we choose?

 The recent murder of the conservative political activist Charlie Kirk and subsequent events hit the American psyche at a very vulnerable point. The social media posts laid bare the brokenness of our society and further exacerbated the deep divide it suffers from at the intersection of religion and politics. This divide has been simmering for a long time, dating back to the eras of Emancipation and Reconstruction, or even further back to the nation's inception. Every time this internal division raised its ugly head, rather than confronting the issue and resolving it, the country's top leadership sidestepped the problem by focusing the country’s attention on the enemy from without. While Obama's presidency was a triumph of the better angels of our nature coming together, it also served as the last straw that uncorked a Pandora’s Box of America’s original sin of white supremacy. Our divide became more pronounced and sustained.

In the aftermath of the Kirk murder, it pained me to see some of my church friends and former parishioners writing and sharing posts on social media from opposing points of view, each with great conviction, and accusing the opposing side of hypocrisy while taking them down. Even more difficult for me to comprehend was the division present among my own identity group, the Christian immigrants from India. For a change, I stayed on the sidelines, not agreeing or offering any counterarguments. It did not mean I had no thoughts, opinions, or convictions. It simply meant that debating, especially online, is not the most effective way to persuade someone to your line of thinking or to tamp down the fierceness of the storm. However, for many, Charlie Kirk was a masterful debater himself. Silencing of him at the hands of a 22-year-old assassin, and the voices critical of him and the white Christian Nationalist ideology he championed by the Federal Communications Commission, show our society's intolerance to diversity of thoughts and ideas, a far cry from earlier times. I wish our society would recognize the seriousness of the divide and the enmity it breeds. It is not a time for debate or rhetoric, as it leads to violence, mayhem, and annihilation. Let us, as a society, try to understand one another through dialogue.

I mourn the loss of the 1970s and 1980s when America was at its best, somewhat chastised and chasened for its global overreach in Vietnam and later in Iran, and repentant of its ’60s political assassinations and Watergate Scandal at home, and when politics was not a zero-sum game. It was during this time that I had the privilege of coming to the United States from India to study in the deep South and later chose to become a citizen, as part of the less restrictive immigration laws passed under the Civil Rights Act of the 1960s. This was a pivotal moment in our nation's life, a time when foreigners were warmly welcomed, a time when one could envision a pluralistic American population in diverse hues living, working, and contributing to the welfare of all. The pluralism concept, E Pluribus Unum, ‘out of many one,’ adopted as the motto of our nation at its founding, was taking shape in the country. Many college towns had host families who, in addition to helping new students from overseas acclimate to their new surroundings, introduced them to an America that is open, friendly, engaging, innovative, and a pluralistic, democratic society. My host family in the deep South introduced me to a diverse America, where people of all identities were equally valued and cherished. Even after fifty years, I am still in a relationship with the members of my host family in the South.

In contrast to the 1970s and 1980s, today’s America is fearful and suspicious of foreigners, immigrants, and people of different hues than white, despite their contributions and achievements to the nation. Those who are opposed to the pluralistic vision for the country, being nativistic and racist, now blame the non-whites as the sole cause of all the ills of society. Their nativistic ire is even more directed against the native born non-whites. In a scarcity mindset, they believe that non-whites are replacing whites with what is solely entitled to them. What was once considered an aberrant and abhorrent view in the pluralistic society of the 1970s and 1980s is now debated on college campuses and popularized as the norm. The ideology of white nationalism, with its unabashed call to return to the days of white privilege and supremacy, helped elect conservatives to power. As a priest in the Episcopal Church, I find it even more jarring to note that a significant segment of Christians fully endorses this ideology of white nationalism, which holds the view that all other races are subordinate and subservient to the white race.

Unfortunately, lacking critical thinking and awareness, some of my Christian brothers and sisters who came to these shores from India have also wholeheartedly accepted the ideology of White Christian Nationalism. I find it difficult to comprehend their lack of awareness that they were able to immigrate to the United States only because of the policies enacted by socially progressive legislators with a pluralistic vision for the country. Moreover, back in India, these people would oppose a particular political party's ideology of Hindu nationalism. I wonder whether they realize that their support for white Christian nationalism would undermine their own citizenship status in their adopted country.

Once the genie is out, there is no putting it back without either letting it do damage to our everyday lives, civility, and socio-cultural ethic, or by jointly and urgently calling on the better angels of our nature to repair and restore us to a united nation. In times like these, we typically look to the country's top leadership for guidance on the way forward. However, the top leadership, which came to power on the platform of white Christian nationalism, is also busy systematically dismantling all the programs and policies made earlier by the people of pluralistic vision, and is more aggressively promoting the vision of White Christian Nationalism, as someone who is divinely charged to bring it about.

The Humpty Dumpty notion of progress the nation had achieved in the areas of social and economic justice, the environment, racial equality, and goodwill among the community of nations is toppled, and putting it back together again as it was is very unlikely. Whatever gains the progressives made in making the United States a pluralistic society, a commonwealth, though a partisan but majority view, have always been resented by the opposing side, but have not been entirely rejected as they are now. Our nation is incredibly divided and is undergoing terrible trauma. We need to mourn and lament for our country, and call on the better angels of our nature to dig ourselves out of the mire and bog.

I often wonder how people come to hold certain views about themselves and others, and how they develop animosity toward those who think and believe differently from them. We differ from one another in our beliefs, backgrounds, and perspectives, including our religious, racial, and ethnic identities, as well as our gender and political views. While these differences, most of which are inherent to our birth, help form our individual identities, they also inadvertently divide us. Most of us carry multiple identities and introduce ourselves to others in hyphenated terms like I am a South-Asian-Indian-Syrian-Christian-Anglican-Episcopalian-American-male. I could further identify myself in terms of my political and theological views, and so on. All these provisional identities are essential as we negotiate our place in the intersection between ourselves and society. When societies celebrate the diversity of their tribes, everybody thrives. Conversely, when societies begin to devalue certain tribes by giving superiority to others, they often disintegrate into chaos and mayhem.

As we speak, the rise of White Christian nationalism, with its view that the white race is superior to other races, finding a niche under the current administration in the intersection of politics and religion, is clearly what is tearing our society apart. The root of white Christian nationalism can be traced back to the Doctrine of Discovery. https://www.fcnl.org/updates/2016-09/doctrine-discovery, established in 1452 by the full weight of the church and Papal authority, which claims that European civilization and Western Christianity are superior to all other cultures, races, and religions. This bogus and un-Christian claim made by the church gave Western colonial invaders the license to establish dominance over different cultures and races in the world. Only as recently as March 31, 2023, the church repudiated and rescinded the Doctrine of Discovery, dating back to 1452. Though invoking the Christian mandate to respect the dignity of every human being, Pope Francis made this historic statement, the damage done by Western Colonialism over the last five hundred years to the human race, especially the non-white races in the world, is unfathomable. And the legacy and the mindset of colonialism persist today, especially in the United States, in the ideology of White Christian Nationalism. The adherents of White Christian nationalism believe that the United States was founded as a Christian nation for its white inhabitants.

When you think of your identity as the most superior and then fuse that identity with that of the nation state you belong to, the world will end up with something like Nazism, Zionism, Hindutva, or White Christian Nationalism. As a country, we are currently facing strong headwinds from White Christian Nationalism against the concept of an integrated nation where all the nation’s diversity of identities, whether religious, social, cultural, political, ethnic, sexual, or gender, are equally honored and valued. White Christian Nationalism is a form of idolatry. It is based on a lie that the color of one’s skin measures the worth of a person. This notion is also far from the Biblical understanding of Christian faith. Paul in Galatians discusses how human beings, despite their differences in provisional identities — whether religious, political, economic, social, or gender — become one in Christ. Paul says, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” In other words, you can’t be a White Christian Nationalist and a follower of Jesus Christ.

On the Sunday following Charlie Kirk's murder and while the controversy it created was at its peak and the people’s emotions were raw and palpable, my rector at St. Paul’s Church, Walnut Creek, CA, handed out to the congregation a two-page leaflet called The Dignity Index. It calls for respecting the dignity of every human being, as in one of the five promises Episcopalians make at the time of their baptism into the church, “strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being.” It is a tall order to ask when our tribal identities are defined by assigning value to specific characteristics that make us different from others. The Dignity Index leaflet illustrates the levels of attitudes people have towards others who are different from them. At the bottom rung of the ladder of attitudes are those people who think of people whom they consider as their enemies, like, “They’re not even human. It’s our moral duty to destroy them before they destroy us.” And at the top rung of the ladder, people think of others, as “Each one of us is born with inherent worth, so we treat everyone with dignity - no matter what.” We wouldn’t be able to think of each other as being born with inherent worth as long as we hold on to our identity too rigidly and tightly, and consider all other identities as inferior and wanting.

To see how White Christian Nationalism is not only un-Christian but also anti-Christian, we need to revisit the origins of the Christian Church and genuinely understand the meaning of what Peter and Paul meant when they stated that “God is no respecter of persons” (Romans 2:11ff. and Acts 10:34ff.). The realm of God Jesus envisioned and preached was not a nation-state. It was all-inclusive. The most often cited verse in the Bible, especially by the fundamentalist Christians, who wholeheartedly support the ideology of White Christian Nationalism, is, “God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” The better angels of our nature, informed by actual Christian values and righteousness, not those of Christian Nationalism or white patriarchal supremacy, which do not respect the dignity of every human being, will once again help us rebuild our society in the right way. It will be a victory for the human race and God’s creation, whom God loves so much. We need to get there, however difficult the path may be. We need to get rid of the colonial mindset, which perpetuates the false notion that white European patriarchy is the ideal identity that God foreordained to rule over the human race. We need to ask ourselves: in whose theological imagination do we live? Do we live under the corrupted notion of European Christianity of the fifteenth century, which satisfied their greed for extracting wealth from the unexplored parts of the world? Today’s white Christian nationalism in the United States is the legacy of European colonialism, which is neither Christian nor the ideal that the Realm of God envisions.https://medium.com/@koshymathews/which-christianity-will-we-choose-8700035200b3

A Plea To The 81st General Convention

 

 

As an Episcopalian, I am distraught and bewildered by our church's apparent lack of moral outrage against Israel’s war on Gaza and its ongoing refusal to implement a ceasefire. Thousands of innocent Palestinians have perished, most of them women and children, and countless more will succumb to malnutrition, hunger, and lack of medical care if an immediate ceasefire and humanitarian relief efforts are not initiated. Our church has always responded to global disasters, even those of lesser magnitude, with prayers and calls for humanitarian support. The absence of such efforts in this instance, coupled with a callous indifference to the suffering of innocent people, is profoundly perplexing. Why is praying for the victims of this war different from any other? Is it because we fear being perceived as anti-Semitic? Or do we see this as a justifiable collective punishment for Hamas’s actions on October 7?

Whatever the reason, our silence is starkly at odds with our baptismal covenant to “seek and serve Christ in all persons, love our neighbors as ourselves, strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being.” What disturbs me most is the contrast between the societal and campus-driven desire for justice and the seeming apathy within my faith community. It makes me question whether my concern for the survival of Palestinians and their struggle for independence is misplaced.

The Episcopal Church has a visible presence in Jerusalem and has historically supported institutions providing medical care and education to Palestinians in the occupied territories, regardless of their religion. The church’s Diocese of Jerusalem spearheads peace-building initiatives, including the Jerusalem Peacebuilders program and interfaith efforts through its Department of Peace, Reconciliation, and Interfaith Dialogue. However, these efforts are woefully inadequate compared to the overwhelming needs of a population confined and deprived of fundamental freedoms. The mission of peace-building and reconciliation lacks integrity without addressing justice and the history of colonialism. Despite years of mission work and annual pilgrimages, hostility between the indigenous communities persists.

It is imperative for the church to adopt a new approach to peace in Israel/Palestine. This crisis demands a political solution, not just humanitarian aid. Can the Diocese of Jerusalem incorporate 'Justice' into the Department of Peace and Reconciliation? Palestinians need a genuine ally to support their struggle for independence and self-determination. The outdated colonial model of mission work, which reduces recipients to objects of charity, must be abandoned. The church must shed its white-patriarchal-supremacy theology and embrace the theology of its baptismal covenant, walking in solidarity with those denied justice, homeland, and dignity. Otherwise, aid efforts only serve to soothe the church's conscience and erode its credibility.

The church missed a crucial opportunity by not supporting the thousands of students protesting US policies that arm Israel and enable the indiscriminate killing of Gazans. I know at least one young person who left the Episcopal Church because of its silence over this war. Over the years, the Episcopal Church’s General Conventions have repeatedly failed to pass resolutions that could have held Israel accountable for its treatment of Palestinians. In 2018, despite opportunities to label Israel an apartheid state and pass other significant resolutions, meaningful action was stymied in the House of Bishops.

As Israel’s war on Gaza, fueled by US-supplied bombs, continues, the upcoming 81st General Convention of the Episcopal Church in Louisville, Kentucky, presents another opportunity. TEC must not be beholden to Israel or ignore its ongoing occupation and genocide of indigenous Palestinians. The church must bravely serve as an honest broker between Israelis and Palestinians, considering not just the events of October 7 but decades of oppressive occupation. It is time to stop seeking forgiveness for past inaction and start making impactful decisions: labeling Israel as an apartheid state, boycotting Israeli products, divesting from companies doing business in Israel, and recognizing Palestinian indigeneity. These steps are essential to remaining faithful to the gospel of Christ. I fervently hope and pray that the deputies and bishops of TEC will heed the cries of those suffering in Gaza and pass resolutions that will hold Israel accountable and pave the way for a just peace.

Moolamannil Family Meet, 2023

Members of our Moolamannil clan got together on Saturday, January 14, 2023, in the community hall of Palazzo Flat in Devalokam, Kottayam. Getting our clan members together in one place at one time is like herding cats and dogs; all the cajoling, coaxing, and encouraging efforts of my brother, Chachayan (Jacob Mathews), and my youngest cousin, Subin (Subin Manuel), worked beautifully, as more than 55 members of our Family representing five generations came and enjoyed being with each other. Some cousins saw each other for the first time in their life. Some of us are shocked to find our cousins are like us, older, rather than in their teens, with whom we had played together at our Karackal house when we boys were in our knickers with suspenders and our girl cousins in skirts and blouses with hair braided behind. Those memories evoked certain nostalgia about the good old days of our innocence and beginning. It gave all of us time to be with each other and to catch up on each other's lives, both the ups and downs and the twists and turns of our individual and Family life journeys. 

 

As I continue to reflect on our most recent Family Meet, I begin to wonder what it is that brings us back together, again and again, every few years or so. With memories of our early years fading into the past and as all but a few members of our parents' precious generation are now gone, I become worried and anxious if we ever feel the same affinity for our Family and if we ever can draw meaning from our collective past as we once did. What we share in common among us is our love for the family matriarch Moolamannil Ammamachi, regard for the great grandparents Oommachen Ooramelil and Mariamma Moolamannil, and our deep respect and reverence for our grandparents' generation, whom I call the original six, the Rev. M. O. Koshy, Dr. M. O. Chacko, the Rev. Dr. M. O. Thomas, M. O. Aleyamma (Aleyamma Mathew Kurunthotical), Dr. M. O. Cherian, and Dr. M. O. Sossamma (Sossamma Philip). Ammamachi and our great-grandparents were stalwart individuals of their time, wielding much influence in church and society. They raised six children who make up one side of our grandparents. All of them made a name for themselves. Two became Priests, one a well-revered faith healing practitioner in the Mar Thoma Church and the other a double doctorate theologian and pastor in the Anglican Church in Canada; three of them became medical doctors and served in Ceylon, Madras, and Andhra Pradesh, respectively, and one became a prominent church and community leader in Kozhenchery.  While our great-grandparents serve as the core or the trunk of our family tree, the original six comprise the six branches from which form the succeeding generations we are all part. We are indebted to our ancestors for a heritage of spirituality, vision, and bravery. They were trailblazers. We remembered them at our Family Meets with much love and admiration. 

 

A unique feature of our Family Meet on January 14, 2023, was the release of a book, 'Guided By Grace,' by Rahael Koshy Jalan (Kumari), the second daughter of the late M. K. Koshy/son of the late Rev. M.O. Koshy (Valiappachen). Rev. M. O. Koshy, the eldest of the Moolamannil siblings, our grandfather, was revered as an elder, healer, parish priest, and seer in his home village of Karakkal, Kerala, and beyond. Fortunately for our Family, he maintained a diary and wrote in it regularly about his bible readings, experiences, and visions. 

 

The book 'Guided by Grace' is our effort to pass on our grandfather's teachings to future generations. My brother, Mr. Jacob Mathews, and I shared some of our insights and what we had seen as children growing up in the Moolamannil family home. We are privileged to record some of our memories of events we witnessed. 

 

A previous Malayalam Book written about the late Rev. M. O. Koshy by his eldest son, Mr. M.K. Oommen, sheds light on him as a public person, an Achen (priest) who shepherds different churches and in his healing ministry. In 'Guided By Grace,' the reader will see Valliappachen not only as an Achen in public ministry but also as a father, grandfather, sibling, and family man. He was a man serving God but also a vulnerable human being. Kumari powerfully portrays the emotional bond between Valiappachen and her dad by quoting excerpts from Valiappachen's letters to her dad. She believes that her father's faith which he had expressed to her mother at the time of his premature death, 'Don't worry about my children, God will take care of them,' has more than been borne out today. She shows that there was a meaningful relationship between Valiappachen and her father, which had an impact on him and, thereby, on their Family.

By including a new English translation of the Malayalam Book written earlier by the late M. K. Oommen and Appachen's voluminous hand-written notes, which Appachen noted that he received in visions late at night for preaching at church services and other occasions, we now have an almost comprehensive account of the words and history of our Valliappachen, the late Rev. M. O. Koshy. This book will be an eyewitness account of our grandfather's life, ministry, and times, the Rev. M.O. Koshy, to future generations.

See www.koshyachen.com for the most recent testimonials from witnesses.

 

Our Family originated in Karackal, a few miles west of Thiruvalla in Kerala. However, we no longer have the Tharavadu (the Karthomparampil/Moolamannil family house) or a family member who now lives in Karackal. In place of a Tharavadu/family home, a physical location that serves as a place of belonging or a symbol that holds us together, what do we have now to lean on? What keeps us together? How will our future generation know they are born into a world that existed before they came? Do we have memories of our previous generations that we can impart to our coming generation? Don't we owe to prior generations for our identity, faith, and proud heritage? While an occasional gathering like the one we just had in Kottayam is ideal, it is impractical to expect members of our clan, now spread out across the globe, to be in one place at a time. However, we must continue to do our best to use our voices and our ability to transcend distances in today's global connectivity. We can and must make a difference! We can prevent our family name and heritage from fading into anonymity and eventually becoming oblivion. We can keep this lamp burning, these memories alive. In doing so, we cultivate an understanding of our identity and make meaning of our past. 

 

It is gratifying to know some of the members who gave leadership for our last Family meeting on January 14, 2023, belongs to Gen X and Gen Z generations. Subin Manuel and his wife Priya Manuel, the youngest from our generation or the second generation from the original six, organized and conducted the Family Meet. It was a huge responsibility, but they did it with so much love and care. Another person we must be grateful to be Jithu Thomas George, a third-generation member from the generation of the original six. He copied Valliappachen's original hand-written sermon notes and digitized them for English translation. Maxwell Thomas (Tebby), also belonging to the third generation, did the painstaking work of putting in all the names of our large Family Tree members. Marissa Manuel, probably the youngest of the third generation, single-handedly presented our families' video at the Meet. Their participation and passionate engagement in the Family Meet are hopeful signs that the Moolamannil – Oorammelil Family Meet is here to stay, whether in person or via zoom, hopefully for the foreseeable future!

A Post Covid Call for Action

 

 
After a hiatus of two and a half years, it is delightful to be back in Kerala and rejoin fellow members of the Senior Citizen's Forum in Kottayam, especially in time for Onam. When we left for the States last time, we planned to return in six months. But everything changed as our world came under the deathly grip of a once-in-a-hundred-year pandemic for over two years, curtailing much of human activity, sending people into isolation, and causing panic among the scientific community tasked with the control of diseases. We had to postpone our return to Kottayam till now. Fortunately for us, our unplanned time in the States turned out to be most productive as my bishop appointed me to be in charge of a church, a new mission to be engaged in, and a community to be with during the interim time. It proved to be meaningful and purposeful.
 
What we have been through during these last two years was traumatic. In the face of the fast and furious spreading of the virus, our defenses broke down. Neither the scientific prowess nor the economic advantage protected us from its naked onslaught. Though no one was spared from the pandemic, the poor and the seniors bore the brunt of it’s ill effects. While the poor suffered mainly from a lack of access to health care, the seniors suffered mostly from isolation and loneliness. As the members of the church that I was in charge of were primarily seniors, we were deathly (no pun intended) serious about following the Covid protocols. For quite a while, our services were on zoom. It was only towards the end of my short tenure that we met for in person Sunday services, and it was even later that I saw the faces of the people in the church without their masks for the first time.
 
John F. Kennedy famously said, "The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger–but recognize the opportunity". Now, having been in the belly of the beast for more than two years and come out alive, let us ask ourselves, what has our experience taught us? What new learning and knowledge have we gained in it’s wake? While our challenges, loss, uncertainty, and fear can be overwhelming, some parts of life still endure. Let us ask ourselves what we have discovered about life, ourselves, and humanity. What do we want to keep and treasure, and what do we want to throw overboard as we move forward? Our journey ahead will be qualitatively different if we reflect on our experience and meditate on some of these enduring questions.  
 

First Post Covid Gathering of Senior Citizen Forum 

As a clergy person, I needed to quickly adapt to the changing circumstances, not only with my personal and family life but also to navigate a new and unfamiliar church through uncharted territory and terrain. Caring for others often means not having enough energy or time to care for yourself or your family. Though on zoom, attending collegial gatherings twice a month and seeking monthly spiritual direction helped me cope with some of these challenges. To know that you're not alone in this struggle was very helpful. Though we often couldn't be at Senior Citizen's zoom gatherings due to time differences, the fact that they were happening showed our human instinct for community and connection. Hats off to P.I John sir for his leadership in keeping the forum going during the pandemic.  
 
Our attempts at being in community via zoom, though not ideal, was the best available mode of communication during the pandemic. It may have helped us ward off some of the ill effects of loneliness. According to neuroscientists, the loneliness we suffered from isolation, which we took as a protective measure during the pandemic, may have made us less resistant to it. They think, "The human brain, having evolved to seek safety in numbers, registers loneliness as a threat. The centers that monitor for danger, including the amygdala, go into overdrive, triggering a release of "fight or flight" stress hormones. Your heart rate rises, and your blood pressure and blood sugar level increase to provide energy in case you need it. Your body produces extra inflammatory cells to repair tissue damage, prevent infection, and fewer antibodies to fight viruses." People who too diligently followed the pandemic protocols subconsciously started to view others as potential threats and less as friends who could be an ally in overcoming their predicament. As pandemic restrictions are behind us and everyday life begins to return, we need to pay special attention to those among us who were severely impacted by the prolonged isolation and loneliness of the pandemic period.
 

Sitting Down for Onam Feast - A vegetarian Meal on Banana Leaf

The energy and enthusiasm we exhibited at our most recent gathering for the Onam celebration in Palai were tangible expressions of our deep desire for human connection and relationship. We, as social beings, require the company of others to not only survive but also to thrive. Seeking connections and making relationships with others are in our DNA. It was this fundamental human need that was we were denied during the epidemic. However, according to Dr. Vivek Murthy, the United States Surgeon General, even before the pandemic, the country (USA) was experiencing an "epidemic of loneliness" driven by the accelerated pace of life and the spread of technology into all sorts of our social interactions. What he said of the States could also be true for us in India. 

Given all that is going on right now in India, more specifically in Kerala – the corruption, communal strife, crime, opioid crisis, wretched conditions of infrastructure, public's disenchantment with the court and its sense of disempowerment, the spread of fake news over social media, and the docility of the print media, to name just a few – it would be a surprise if people are not driven to opt for social isolation. By the way, the Maveli Skit at our Onam talent show skillfully and artistically highlighted some of what ails us today.
 

Members of the Forum Participating in a Skit

Kerala has a rich history of correcting itself from waywardness and corruption to a path toward progress and human development. We, as enlightened people, cannot let the present cynicism and distrust strangle our hearts and hold us back from envisioning a future of shared power and development. We cannot remain on the sidelines, stay silent, or isolate ourselves, indulging in self-pity. We, the seniors with years of experience in a broad range of fields, need to show up more and more. By doing this we acknowledge our connection with one another and our commitment to the common good.  
 
May we find sufficient courage to come out of our self-imposed isolation and connect with others! May we have enough faith in ourselves and the divine to heed the call to make a difference in the world we exist in here and now!  

(Written for Elders' Voice, a monthly magazine for The Senior Citizen Forum, Kottayam)

A New Perspective on Baptism

Sunday, December 26, 2021, I baptized Kabir, my second grandson, in a home baptism. It took place in the living room of his parents' house with members of the families of both parents present and with extended family and friends from around the world participating on zoom. I had baptized Dhruv eight years back. During my priestly tenure, I have had the blessing of baptizing many children. But baptizing my grandchildren was quite special, especially knowing that my grandfather, a priest, baptized me many years ago. I thank God for my grandsons and the blessing I had in baptizing them.  

 

One of the readings at Kabir's baptism made me think of baptism in a new way. Baptism is probably the most practiced and misunderstood sacrament of the church. Very few parents who bring their infants to church for baptism properly understand the meaning or purpose of this sacrament. For many, it is a cultural or a traditional thing to do. For some, it is out of concern that the infant may not make it to heaven if not baptized before God forbid the child dies. Many who bring their children for baptism are not church regulars, and after baptism, we don't see them ever again. It is hard for parents not to have such notions when religion is thought of only in cultural terms. Though I am not convinced that my pre-baptism sessions with many parents make any dent in their understanding, I baptize their infants anyway. 

 

Understood or not, Baptism is the sacrament of initiation into the larger family of God, the church. Once baptized, you are no longer just a member of your family, related by blood; you are now also a member of a larger family, linked by the water of Baptism. Now the church has a claim on you, the baptized. Your child is no longer just yours. 

 

For those possessive of their children, letting go is a complex concept. The notion that your child now belongs to the world is thoughtfully sculpted in a statue of Mary and Child at a monastery in England. The observer sees Mary holding the infant in her hands in a way that she wants you, the observer, to have and hold if you desire. There is no possessiveness in Mary. Such an attitude of surrender is beautifully expressed in Kahlil Gibran's poem, "Your children are not yours." It was one of the readings at Kabir's Baptism. The poem reads, 

 

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet, they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. 

You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them like you. 

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. 

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. 

The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and bends you with might that the arrows may go swift and far. 

Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness; 

For even as the Archer loves the arrow that flies, 

so the Archer also loves the bow that is stable.

 

As I look back at my life, I recall the times I have been an arrow as my parents' son and a bow as the father of my children. Have I struggled to become an independent person and developed a separate identity from my parents? Yes, indeed, but that struggle itself served me to grow to be a stronger person. Have Susan, and I also struggled to let go of our children to be independent of us and the cultural, societal, and religious moorings of both the transplanted South Asian Community and the host community-at-large. Yes, I am sure. Yet, those struggles we went through and the resets we made along the way helped us grow to be better parents, 'stable bows and yet bending in the archer's hand.'

 

Today, I am blessed to serve DRPA (Desi Rainbow Parents and Allies) as a peer volunteer to help fellow South Asian parents of LGBTQ+ children become more open and accepting of their children when they come out. In the South Asian community, any deviation from culturally and religiously accepted norms would be devastating for parents who consider children their extensions, possessions, or prized trophies. Some South Asian immigrant parents of LGBTQ+ children think of themselves as a failure and are ashamed to be in a community with other parents of 'normal kids.' It is also equally hard for LGBTQ+ children. Not wanting to let down parents, these children suffer alone, hiding their sexuality and true identity from their parents. They become victims of their internal oppression. It is where the services provided by the DRPA become crucial. It offers opportunities for parents and children to understand each other and accept their proper roles as parents and children. As Kahlil Gibran's poem infers, both bow and arrow in the hands of an archer have essential but separate functions to accomplish. The Archer determines the arrow's path, not the bow. For the arrow to perform its role, the bow needs to bend while being stable in the hands of the Archer. 

 

Baptizing my Dhruv and Kabir into the larger family of God was a blessing for me as a priest and their grandfather. By bringing them for baptism, Ranjit and Johanna acknowledge that their children are not theirs but, as Kahlil Gibran says, 'life's longing for itself' (God). Mary's stretched-out hands, holding the baby facing us, the onlookers, is her acknowledgment that she was just a means to make incarnation possible. She was the bow in the hands of the Archer. When children come out as they are to us, it is a call for us to grow, to mature by staying in dialogue with them, and be willing to be pleasantly surprised by new perspectives and by whatever comes our way. Ultimately, we need to be seized by the knowledge that we are caretakers of children who are God's gifts to the world.

Rakshabandan - Bond of Care

An Indian custom I never paid much attention to until recently is Rakshabandan or Rakhi, a Hindu tradition of tying a band made of silk threads on a brother's wrist by his sister for protection. Brought up as a minority Christian in India, it was not a custom I knew much about. The other day, a vestry member of Indian descent at Gloria Dei, where I serve as its interim, told me how much she had appreciated the tradition of Rakhi when she was growing up in Northern India. It piqued my interest. 

 

The more I learned about this practice, the more I appreciated it, especially when envisioned, understood, and practiced universally. We are all our siblings' keepers. Jesus calls for an expanded version of this concept in his call to extend our concern, care, and love by going beyond our blood relations to even our enemies. Jesus, after washing his disciples' feet and told them to do likewise as an outward symbol of their love for each other. Then he said, "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another." In other words, our gospel call is not to limit ourselves to be just keepers of our immediate siblings. Instead, we are to see the whole of humanity as our siblings and to be keepers of each other. 

 

Building on the tradition of Rakhi, the communications committee at Gloria Dei Church decided to act as keepers of a few students at the college where I studied in India. https://youtu.be/B2ViOFpnu-8The pandemic and the subsequent lockdown severely affected these students whose situation was already dire due to their socio-economic context. The committee's proposal to raise funds to help the students through the sale of Rakhi Bands among the church members and friends found wide acceptance not just at Gloria Dei but beyond as well. As this initiative fits in with the Bishop's goal of the diocese and the Anglican Communion, he made a large donation. It also became the first-ever recipient of a mission grant from the Diocesan Global Mission Committee. What a great initiative! It has helped us create a bond of care between these students and us halfway across the globe. 

 

Rakhi is celebrated in India on Sunday, August 22. On that same day, Gloria Dei, too, will be celebrating our Bond of Care service by exchanging rakhis with each other during the time of peace. On this day, we will hear how a local church can use a tradition from another culture, religion, or land to engage in God's mission of care and concern for the struggling siblings of that land. We will also hear how engaging in such a mission would help our congregation become closer, more loving, and united in our purpose and being. Exchanging rakhis within our community and helping students with funds from the sale of rakhis are visible symbols of God's grace and love that is present in our congregation. I am proud of Gloria Dei for its parts in God's mission.